Mental Block- Day 21

21!!!  That number actually just changed my mood a tad bit.  Not much though.

I'm not in a very good mood right now.    Eff it!  I'm angry and I just want to scream.   Angry isn't the only emotion I am feeling right now. Bitter, confused, anxious, tired.   I usually don't get like this very often but today (not even the entire day)  just in the last few hours the anger overcame me.   On the car ride home from Business Training the feeling just over took me.

Sidenote: Omg Omg!!!  Rain on Me by Ashanti just played on my Pandora.  The lyrics are on point right now!!! I mean of course I'm not in a horrible relationship with someone that is sucking the life out of me.... Or am I ??   

I paid close attention to this feeling since it is not frequent.  Tried to pin point where it is coming from. What I found out is that I am mad at my damn self for a few reasons.

• I'm mad that I didn't win last month's competition. ( I wanted my damn T-shirt)

• I'm upset that its half way thru the month and I am no where close to winning this month's incentive! (Which would solidify my spot for an all expense paid trip to Universal Studios Orlando!! I mean everything paid for. My company is shutting down the park for just our people. No lines. Just Food and Fun for absolutely FREE!) 

• Mad that I'm 21 days in and although there has been a little movement and progress in my journey, I don't feel like I have put my all in or I am where I thought I should be by the 3rd week.     

• Work is slow and I have everything to do with that! Almost everything. Florida politics are pretty slow right now. But still ... have I been putting in my all? NO!

Okay but the biggest issue right now is when I get like this , I start to sulk even more in what I haven't done, what I don't have, my lack.   Instead of focusing on abundance. All these opportunities are still right in front of me but I am mentally blocked.   I just need to switch my perspective! And more importantly I need to believe in myself and everything that I do.    Perspective = Belief = Choices.   When your perspective changes , your belief changes and then you can make better choices.     I have not been believing!!  And I have not been speaking things into existence, in other words -- blessing that which I don't have yet.  That may be hard to believe because I have been really trying to encourage myself to get things done.  But I realized they aren't getting done because of my perspective which is effecting my belief system in every aspect of my life!!!    OKay , I'm calming down.


 I need to read some scriptures on Faith and seeing past your current situation.   If you know of any please comment with the verses. Thank you.


Good Night.