No catchy title

I just need to get some feelings out real quick! 

I'm a valuable woman.

I am the prize. 

I constantly attract handsome, intelligent, spiritual, open minded, successful, fun loving men, who want to date me  and/or marry me; and it is up to ME to choose exactly who I want to be with. #affirm

What an extraordinarily radical affirmation!  And it might sound b.s.c. (bat shit crazy) but all the Great's were nothing less than Extra-Ordinary. 

"Who run the world ....GIRLS"- B.Carter

I do wanna Grow Up !

Contrary to the popular Toys R Us song , I do wanna grow up! Being a kid forever just isn't in the cards for me.

Grown ups have way more fun .. we can eat ice cream before dinner.  Stay out really really late without getting in trouble,  and most of all we can curse like a sailor when we're angry!  

If you're anything like me, I know you  just LOVE all the Responsibilities associated with adulthood. Bills, relationships, etc ...  No need to list them all.  However I believe the utmost important responsibilty that comes with adult hood,  is Keeping It Real.  Not some of the time, not when its easiest (because its your best friend and she can handle anything you say to her),  not when you just want to be mean.... but all the damn time!!

This phrase is thrown around quite a bit and has led the masses to believe that this is an easy task. It is NOT! And only the strong can do this gracefully and make it look easy. When you take on this responsibility as an adult , you separate yourself from others. Almost like putting yourself on a  K.I.R  pedastal. LOL!

There is a distinct feeling that arises when you keep it real-- a sense of calmness & humbleness, mixed with a bit of pride.   Humble yet proud???  I know it sounds contradictory but they just go together when you are true to yourself and your feelings while politely and maturely keeping it real with others.  

I cannot and will not say that I have always kept it real with myself and others but from this day forth that is my goal. When I want to be a kid and run from the situation, the conversation or the problem... I will have to remember that I am  Grown Up!  Just keep it real and everything will work out for your good.  

"What's love, if you haven't discovered loving hard?!" - Wale

Hello!!

Allow me to re introduce myself.... My name is still Jovonda. I'm still in the process of creating the best possible life for myself and I'm searching for LOVE !   Yes, love, the kind that makes you say and do crazy things, that soul altering ,"I'll never be the same again"  type love.  I've been Single waayyyy too long!

I know there's Millionaire Matchmakers,  Tough Love (I adore the Ward family) and lets not forget E-harmony.   None of those sites can help me though!   Currently I am not looking for the type of love a man can give me.   So please don't try to match me up with any of your friends LOL (cause honestly I ain't ready).   What you can do is match me up with something that is going to light my soul on fire!!  And I strongly believe that something isn't necesarily walking or talking.   Its not tangible.  Its do-able.

Just give me something to be excited about and STAY excited about. Some where that I can work hard and smile at the results and the way I've changed.   I want to express myself and all the Love within me.  I believe that I have the capacity to love the whole world one day...everyone does.(Eat Pray Love .. watch it).   But I need to find that love within and deposit it into the universe so I can make a withdrawal.  And ultimately I want that love to be so strong that if affects everyone who comes into the presence of it!  Affect them in such a meaningful way that they believe that anything is possible for them .      

Simply put -  I NEED/WANT/WILL do something that I Love!

Sooner than later!

One more day!!! - Day 50

Tomorrow is probably going to be the best day of my life!  Even though it's my friend's Bday , its still the best day of my life!  I'm finally traveling on a plane..to party, reunite and love on all my girlfriends!   Believe it or not the thought of a fun filled weekend scared me.    Crazy, I know.  But I'm such an over thinker,  what will I wear? My hair..my shoes...will there be enough liquor flowing for my nerves to be eased... will I have fun.. will I mesh with the new girls?   That's the silly stuff that runs through my mind , miraculously I am not stressed at all about this trip.    I haven't packed, don't have new clothes , accessories, fighting with my hair and I just don't care!   Lol . I AM  going to have a GRAND time , probably wont even want to leave.  

BREAKING NEWS ALERT - WALE , my ultimate celeb crush, is going to performing at a club in the 'Urrea'!!!   If this isn't a sign that this weekend is going to be amazing, I don't know what is.

So its currently 7:48am,   I have worked out with my trainer, showered, juiced, read my emails and blogged. #Winning.  I feel great.   And I hope that you do too.  If you aren't just stop to give thanks, doesn't matter what it is for just say Thank you Jesus, Thank you Father. Since my personal New Year, I find myself just saying those words for no reason.  Well, excuse me,  there are plenty of reasons to be thankful  but I don't have one particular one in my mind when I am saying it.   Sometimes I just need a boost and those words just do it for me.   Thank you Lord.

Sidenote- I almost cried this morning, probably should have just let it out.  If you haven't already go and subscribe to The Daily Love emails.  The author was talking about vulnerability. Taking chances by being your authentic self and accepting the possibility of being abandoned. The affirmations of the day :
I choose to see things going wrong as a part of something great going right.

Chaos is my friend, I meet it with faith.

 

I enjoy not knowing what's going to happen next and take a step out in faith.

Remember when  I said I am currently struggling with some internal things. This email hit the spot. Really helped me to realize that everything is going to be okay.  I'm still scared though.....

Later today I will tell you about my  awkward, whack DATE! Lol , Are ready for this?


Have a blessed one!

Happy New Year!!

Hiiii Blog, oh how I missed thee!!

Where have I been for the last few weeks? I don't know.  What weight have I lost? None.   What money have I saved?  $0.   What revelations have I had?  LOTS!    

Work brought me back to my beloved old stomping grounds, Tallahassee FL, for two weeks.  In those two weeks I made a road trip to Panama City Beach and Jacksonville, to visit some old friends.   Labor day weekend was the wildest, funniest, weirdest, and most thought provoking weekend I have had in a long time.   Two of my really close friends live in Duval and we always have a GRAND time when we get together.  De and E!  I love these women, being with them makes me feel so blessed.  God has given me great friends who are just all around positive people .  De and E have HUGE dreams and even Bigger goals  for their life and I know they can and will accomplish anything they set their mind to.  Watch out world, these are two super successful Naturalistas!

I was so inspired by my friends. I miss them and their energy... directly and indirectly they both gave hope for the future. Let me know its okay to start over , forget the past and re-label yourself.   That's so refreshing.    

So I toasted to Labor Day 2011 being my personal New Year!       

Let's see ,  I rehired myself in both work places.  I am starting fresh with weight loss, hired a personal trainer and got a gym membership (Gary is awesome!).  I've also been secretly going through some really personal stuff. Without putting it all out there, --I struggle with being proud of myself and attaching my feeling of success to what I have or haven't done in the past.  I am not kind to myself and I want to forget everything and just keep moving forward. I want to hold my head high, no matter what and I want God's glory to manifest through me.   I am nothing without him, foolish and weak.  But if he can get me through this and allow me to come out on top and full of Godly Confidence(NOT self confidence); I will share my story with the world , giving him all the Glory and honor.  

Ahhhhhhh.... I forgot how good it feels to write out my feelings.  I have fallen back in love with you , Blog. And I promise never to let you go. 

Sidenote-- I went on a date. I should update about that!!  I think I will ;-) 

Quick Sum up - Day 22

TODAY'sQUOTES

"You will never demonstrate [abundance] until behind your mental attitude is the belief that you have received before you have received that thing which is sought". "Clear out all the suggestion of limitation, and the belief in poverty and lack, and the belief that "I have to work for a living". These things hypnotize people and bind them. The whole thing is impersonal... Don't acknowledge bondage. If you meet a successful man, you will find that this man has a consciousness of success. He never talks about poverty and limitation. If you meet a man who is not a success, he is always talking about failure. Don't let people talk to you about failure. If a man wants to be sick and poverty stricken, that's his own business." - Ernest Holmes, was an American writer and spiritual teacher.

MASTIN'SDAILYDOWNLOAD My name is Mastin Kipp & I am the Founder of The Daily Love. Photo by Brent Mullins.

"I am who I am, that is that. I am who I am thank God, I am". - Guru Singh Nobody can "make you feel" anything. What you feel about life and the people and situations of your life are the perceptions, decisions and interpretations that YOU BRING to life. Now, as a child, we don't know this. And so we grow up and assume that mom, dad, brother, sister, bully, world, government, boss, etc. have control over our thoughts and feelings. We are not taught that we are outsourcing our power. And then we step into blame and lose even more power. Our thoughts and emotions are an internal thing. Nothing "out there" can make you feel something "in here" without your consent. So, when it comes to people who we say have "made us" feel a certain way, it's time to stop saying that, feeling that and believing that. Right now, in this moment, it's time to take our power back. Whoever used to "make you feel" a certain way, their days in your head and controlling your emotions are over. Let's stop and see what decisions we made in the past about how we would let other people effect us. Let us talk to that younger version of ourselves and tell our younger self that we love it, and that we are now in control. Let us apply an empowering meaning to the past and take back our power. Let us recognize how we have decided to outsource our power and blame others. Let us take back the blame of others and take responsibility for our actions. Let us forgive ourselves for doing so and then forgive everyone else for their role in the trauma of our past. They didn't do anything "to us". They have simply acted and we have applied a meaning to their actions. We do not need to make extreme cases of abuse and violence right... That is not what I am saying.  What I am saying is that what happened, happened and it's time for a new meaning, so we can be free. If we let the traumas of our past dictate how we feel now, then they are still winning. No more. Let's let go. Let's take our power back, let's forgive ourselves, them and move on to living the joyful, abundant and beautiful life The Uni-verse has in store for us. Let me know how you're taking your power back: WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com Love, Mastin Take what resonates with you from the blog and leave the rest.  # # #    Want to life your life to the fullest? If you're ready for change, serious about investing in yourself and ready to work with a mentor send us an email. The TDL Mentoring program is intense and an investment. Serious inquires only.

WHATAREYOUGOINGTHRU? Is there anything you want to get off your chest? Is there anything you want to let go of? Send us an email, let it go and take a step towards Love:WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com This is an anonymous forum, no personal information will be released, sold or exposed. We publish anonymous emails only with the authors consent. We LOVE you!

TODAY'sAFFIRMATIONS

I celebrate admitting when I'm wrong for I come one step closer to Love.   I focus on being Love, not making other people wrong.   I am always learning and getting better.

Mental Block- Day 21

21!!!  That number actually just changed my mood a tad bit.  Not much though.

I'm not in a very good mood right now.    Eff it!  I'm angry and I just want to scream.   Angry isn't the only emotion I am feeling right now. Bitter, confused, anxious, tired.   I usually don't get like this very often but today (not even the entire day)  just in the last few hours the anger overcame me.   On the car ride home from Business Training the feeling just over took me.

Sidenote: Omg Omg!!!  Rain on Me by Ashanti just played on my Pandora.  The lyrics are on point right now!!! I mean of course I'm not in a horrible relationship with someone that is sucking the life out of me.... Or am I ??   

I paid close attention to this feeling since it is not frequent.  Tried to pin point where it is coming from. What I found out is that I am mad at my damn self for a few reasons.

• I'm mad that I didn't win last month's competition. ( I wanted my damn T-shirt)

• I'm upset that its half way thru the month and I am no where close to winning this month's incentive! (Which would solidify my spot for an all expense paid trip to Universal Studios Orlando!! I mean everything paid for. My company is shutting down the park for just our people. No lines. Just Food and Fun for absolutely FREE!) 

• Mad that I'm 21 days in and although there has been a little movement and progress in my journey, I don't feel like I have put my all in or I am where I thought I should be by the 3rd week.     

• Work is slow and I have everything to do with that! Almost everything. Florida politics are pretty slow right now. But still ... have I been putting in my all? NO!

Okay but the biggest issue right now is when I get like this , I start to sulk even more in what I haven't done, what I don't have, my lack.   Instead of focusing on abundance. All these opportunities are still right in front of me but I am mentally blocked.   I just need to switch my perspective! And more importantly I need to believe in myself and everything that I do.    Perspective = Belief = Choices.   When your perspective changes , your belief changes and then you can make better choices.     I have not been believing!!  And I have not been speaking things into existence, in other words -- blessing that which I don't have yet.  That may be hard to believe because I have been really trying to encourage myself to get things done.  But I realized they aren't getting done because of my perspective which is effecting my belief system in every aspect of my life!!!    OKay , I'm calming down.


 I need to read some scriptures on Faith and seeing past your current situation.   If you know of any please comment with the verses. Thank you.


Good Night.